| Beast Wars Transformers ( DVD ONLY) By Tamra Wilson RATING: TVY7-FV TAMRA’S RATING: PG DISTRIBUTED BY: Mainframe Entertainment/ Hasbro/ Rhino Video DIRECTOR: Susan Blu STARRING: Maximals: Gary Chalk as Optimus Primal Richard Newman as Rhinox Scott McNeil as Rattrap, Dinobot, Waspinator (Predicons), and Silverbolt Ian James Corrlet as Cheetor Blu Mankuma as Tigatron and Tigerhawk Pauline Newstone as Airrazor David Soblov as Deapthcharge Predicons: David Kaye as Megatron Don Brown as Scorponok Doug Parker as Terrorsaur Alec Willows as Tarantulas Venus Terzo as Blackarachnia Jim Byrns as Inferno Colin Murdoch as Quickstrike Campbell Lane as Rampage Is It a Chick Flick or Boy Movie? Hopefully both! If you’re a girl who loves a good adventure story and it helps if there’s a little romance, then Beast Wars is for you. You boys will love Beast Wars too. There’s lots of adventure, action, and fun; because the Maximals aren’t your ordinary Transformers. The Boring Stuff Long ago, the noble Autobots ruled their home world, Cybertron, in peace. Their sworn enemies, the Decepticons, made life miserable, but the good Autobots prevailed and peace returned to Cybertron. Years later, five Autobots went to fix a spacebridge, (like a wormhole) when they where attacked by Decepticons and crashed on prehistoric Earth. Now here’s where it gets confusing. Optimus Primal led his band of Maximals; all pure Autobot descendants, on an exploration mission. Their ship, Axalon, was attacked by Decepticon - descendant Predicons and both ships crashed In season one, the good guys kick butt, take names, get reinforcements in the form of fast- flying lady Airrazor and quiet catbot Tigatron, thwart aliens, laugh, get hurt, and are left leaderless when Optimus sacrifices himself. In season two; Optimus returns, the Autobots’ ship is found ,and Megatron tries assassinate Optimus Prime. In season three; an unexpected heroine rises to the occasion: the lady Predicon Blackarachnia takes on Megatron and saves their world. With every episode, Blackarachnia begins to show her sweet side and she joins the Maximals. It’s in season three that the Maximals return to Cybertron. How they arrive and what they do there is another story. The Good Stuff? The Maximals portray all the positive elements of Robin Hood and King Arthur. Good leadership, chivalry, friendship, loyalty, selflessness, and optimism are just a few the good virtues that the Transformers can teach. You also get a free lessons in Shakespeare’s most famous plays and the leitmotif technique. One season two episode,” Transmutate,” says; quite clearly, but without being preachy, that euthanasia is wrong. Good For Your Soul? The Transformers have immortal soul called “sparks” and a Heaven (“The Matrix”) and Hell (“The Inferno”). Their god-like figure, Primus, has a Bible-like book, “The Covenant of Primus” called by Lyn Wilson “The Dirge of Bad Poetry”. All the same, it may need some explaining. Is There Kissing ? Blackarachnia is built like a highly athletic Barbie doll; but with none of Barbie’s sweet and modest attitude. She uses her “charms” if you know what I mean, to get the boys to do what she wants, but nothing really explicit besides a couple of kisses. Rattrap says mean things about women, especially Blackarachnia. Airrazor and Tigatron hold hands, Blackarachnia and Silverbolt kiss, but the camera cuts away before the lip locking stuff. Rattrap makes a crack about Cheetor going into “cyber puberty” (totally unnecessary, but ask your parents.) Cheetor keeps a glamour photo of Blackarachnia in his room. Does Anyone Get Hurt? It’s war, all out war. Robots are shot, dismembered, punched, kicked, even killed and we see it all live and in color. Waspinator is comically beat up in nearly every episode so you feel sorry for him. Dinobot attempts suicide. Silverbolt attempts to murder Tarantulas to avenge Blackarachnia’s supposed death. Waspinator is insulted, Megatron is a bully and insults every one on his team. All the Predicons engage in violence against women, because nearly all of them insult and beat up Blackarachnia just because she’s smaller and weaker than they are. Silverbolt is very protective of Blackarachnia and protects her from those who would hurt her. Rattrap is told to “ shut up” often. Waspinator goes on a rant calling Inferno “Sub-Commander Kiss-Butt” and telling Inferno and Quickstrike to “plant big, wet, juicy one on Waspinator’s big, fat, stripy” (he stops there, but you adults get it) turning his abdomen to the camera. Characters are shot in the rear end at least twice. Are There Any Bad Words? No Is There Any Drinking Or Drugs? Rattrap invites Silver bolt (who will have none of this garbage) to a bar where the waitresses go around topless. More Bad Stuff? The show was written from an evolutionary standpoint and thus “early humans” (wearing loincloths) are featured and time is “millions of years.” Tarantulas establishes a “psychic link’ between himself and Blackarachnia, we also get the “privilege” of seeing the aforementioned fembot’s insides, which is completely unnecessary. Rattrap, Waspinator, Inferno, and Quickstrike play poker. Cheetor tries to lie to Optimus but is unsuccessful (he’ s a rotten liar). The Other Stuff Would my Mom’ve let me watch this show at seven? Not on your life! Season One was okay for a Y7 rating, but as their viewers grew up; so did Beast Wars. But if you tear the stories down to their bear bones, they have all the makings of an adventure tale. Good over evil, a ragtag group that stands up for what’s right, a tyrant who rules by fear, a noble knight and a damsel in need, a special place that’s carefully guarded. At times, (especially with Dinobot and Silverbolt around) it seen seems that King Arthur was dressed up as science fiction for this show. I recommend Beast Wars for kids 11 and up. This “classic” show can be purchased on DVD from Rhino Video and Amazon.Com. |
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